Fate is a Dragonpuss Egg
by Grave Bells
Summary: Bufavulous gets saved by a beautiful archer. Excaliferb AU. Minor BuJeet. r&r


_**Fate is a Dragonpuss Egg**_

* * *

><p><em>Run. Run. Just keep running.<em>

Bufavulous may have been the Wind Lord, but the wind surely was not on his side tonight. He could swear he was running so much slower than he normally did, and he'd been drained of his magic so he couldn't whip up a wind to propel him.

And an angry mother Dragonpuss was NOT something you wanted to not be able to outrun.

A horrific screeching sounded somewhere above him, and Bufavulous found himself ducking behind a tree to avoid getting burned alive.

"Women," he growled, peeking out from behind the burning foliage to make sure it was safe to emerge. "She probably wouldn't even miss the egg…"

When the Dragonpuss wasn't looking, he slipped out from behind the tree and booked it into the clearing, hoping to God the large reptile didn't notice him before he reached the other side.

_SNAP!_

"Oh come ON!" he snarled, looking back at the twig he'd stepped on with contempt before glancing up at the massive green animal that'd whirled his way. The mother roared and clambered over some trees, aiming right for the Wind Lord's back.

"LOOK OUT!"

Bufavulous yelped as something rammed into him and knocked him to the ground. All of a sudden he was lying on his back in the grass, completely encompassed by a dark green fabric held in place over the top of him by a thin being straddling his hips.

Long, soft platinum hair brushed against his face, and his eyes widened.

Perched above him and consequently shielding him from what seemed to be a horrible blast of fire was the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen. Soft features, flawless caramel skin, chocolate, determined eyes… Their hair was the color of sweet champagne, and when he reached up to finger it he found it was incredibly soft… He inhaled sharply in his awe, and was assaulted by the delicious smell of assorted spices. Ginger, cardamom, turmeric… Maybe even some cumin, and _ohhh_ was that anise? Bufavulous wet his lips. How could one person smell so good?

All too quick, the stranger whipped the fabric from around them and rolled off the young Lord's hips. Bufavulous sat up hurriedly, awestruck and staring as they snatched an arrow from the quiver slung over their back and drew back their bow.

"Never turn your back on a Dragonpuss! Did your mother teach you nothing!" the gorgeous being scoffed unhappily, almost disgustedly. It effectively drew Bufavulous out of his stupor.

Their voice was high, but it was most certainly a _man's_. He blinked, his jaw still hanging open as he examined the physical stature of his savior as they expertly shot an arrow at the advancing reptile.

Slender. Long, thin legs. Small hands, small feet.

No breasts.

Bufavulous was confused when his heart fluttered and blood pooled in his cheeks.

"MOVE!" The man yelled, again shoving Bufavulous over and dodging the other way to avoid another blast of fire. "Are you even paying attention?"

"You're gorgeous," the Lord said suddenly, scrambling to his feet. "Why are you gorgeous?"

The young man made an indignant noise at the compliment and drew his bow. "Are you serious? There is a huge Dragonpuss trying to kill you, and all you can say is, 'you are gorgeous'?"

"Well it's not like I can say much else," Bufavulous shrugged, walking around the shorter man and inspecting every inch of him along the way. Ooo, behind that cape was a rather nice ass…

"You could run away beforeyou_ die_, for starters!"

The Wind Lord watched with eager eyes as the other male reached behind him to retrieve another arrow. The way he held his bow, the way he aimed and pulled and let the weapon fly was perfection. When he pushed himself to his feet and whirled around his waist-length hair whipped about his face, and Bufavulous could have sworn everything was moving in slow motion. He was saying something, but the Lord just stared at his lips as they moved and wondered if they felt as soft as they looked.

And then the man's palm was colliding with the back of his head.

"Stop ogling me and run while it is incapacitated!"

As he was turned and shoved, Bufavulous noticed that an arrow had lodged itself in one of the Dragonpuss's beady little eyes. He raised his brows. _Shit, he's a good shot too._

As they ran across the clearing, Bufavulous couldn't help but keep an eye on the stranger. He wanted to make sure he didn't run off; he hadn't properly thanked him for saving him, not to mention he was the prettiest thing he'd ever set eyes on. He had a hard time keeping track of him without visuals, as his steps were quick but silent. Unlike his own boots, which thumped heavily on the earth with every step.

He never knew someone could look so good running for their life.

They ran until the sounds of the agonizing Dragonpuss faded out into the rustling of branches, by which time the stranger had grown fatigued and was falling behind. Bufavulous slowed for him (as he was much more in shape despite his lack of magical backing), and eventually they stopped at the edge of a crystal clear pond to rest.

"What…. Did you do… to make her so angry?" The young man asked, panting, as he dropped to his knees at the edge of the pond and dipped his brown hands into the cool water.

Bufavulous took a seat next to him and reached into a fur pouch on his belt. He carefully pulled a turquoise and orange egg about the size of his palm from it's cushioned depths and held it out. "Took an egg."

The man nearly fell in the water upon seeing the fragile object. "Are you INSANE!" he all but shouted, pressing to his feet and flicking water into the young lord's face. "What is your problem? You need to go put that back right now!"

"_Excuse me_?" Bufavulous scoffed, carefully placing the egg back in his pocket. "I'm surprised it's still intact, the way you were pushin' me around! You coulda killed it!"

"I was trying to _help you!_ How was I supposed to know you kidnapped one of her children!" The man hastily dried his hands and face on his cloak, which shed the water almost immediately. "I would not have even_ thought_ about saving you if I had known you had done such a deplorable thing!"

"Boy, for someone with such a beautiful face you have a horrible disposition," Bufavulous grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose between his bulky fingers. Certainly didn't stop him from being incredibly attractive, though. If anything, the fight in him was pretty sexy; no one ever stood up to him.

"_I _have a horrible disposition! You stole an unhatched Dragonpuss!" The young stranger was pacing now. "And what was all that nonsense you were blathering on about back there? What do you mean 'why are you so gorgeous'? Were you expecting a troll!"

"To be honest with you, I was expecting a woman," the lord grinned, leaning back on his palms. "Someone with your visual perfection is normally a lady. I had to look you over before I could really believe you're a man." His smile faltered a little when the man tucked some of his long hair behind his ear.

Pointed ears?

"You're a Nerdling, aren't you?" Bufavulous added, his eyes wide again as he stood. "But I thought Nerdlings traveled in Families. Where's everyone else?"

The Nerdling, whose face had gone quite pink from the Wind Lord's admission, stopped in his pacing and looked up. He frowned, and something horrible flashed in his eyes that made Bufavulous regret asking.

"…. I was banished from my Family," he admitted quietly, tucking the hair on the other side of his head behind his ear. "I refused to marry the woman the Elders hand picked for me."

Bufavulous pursed his lips disapprovingly. So he was alone? How dreadful.

…. How _perfect_.

"Geeze, what a buncha tight-asses," he complained nonchalantly, draping a heavy arm over the smaller man's shoulders. "Well, if you need a companion, I'm on my yearly journey around Dandria to inspect the atmosphere. I could use a brain. I mean, I clearly don't have one."

The young man narrowed his eyes and ducked out from under the other man's arm. "Why would you be going on a journey to inspect the _atmosphere_?" he asked suspiciously.

"Oh, right," Bufavulous said, backing up and placing a hand on his chest. "I'm Bufavulous, the Wind Lord. Unfortunately, I'm obligated to make sure the seasons are going to change at the right-"

"_YOU_ are the Wind Lord?"

Bufavulous blinked, suddenly taken aback as the Nerdling basically fell to his knees before him. "Uuuuuhhhhhhhhh yes?"

"I have read every book about the Wind People ever written," he breathed, his eyes wide in awe. "Your people and your customs are some of the most interesting things I have ever had the good fortune to discover. The way you regulate the seasons, the Weather Makers, the Cloud Wranglers.. Did you know the Wind People have the most complicated magical abilities ever studied? I've heard that even being _around_ a Wind Person while they're using their magic can drain your energy if you're not accustomed to it!"

"Boy, you sure know your stuff," Bufavulous laughed, ushering the male to his feet. "Though I suppose you ARE a Nerdling." He arched his brows. "And an incredibly attractive one at that. Bonus. So what's your name?"

The young lord's compliments seemed to affect the Nerdling a hundred fold, as the blatant flirting was now causing him to giggle girlishly and dig his toe into the dirt.

"M-My name is Baljeetolas, of the Nerdling Realm," he managed out, moving to bow but ultimately tangling himself in his cape. In his attempt to untangle himself he stepped on the corner and tripped, crashing forward into Bufavulous. He laughed nervously as he was caught by the shoulders. "S-Sorry."

"Hey, no sweat. I'll always help a cutie in need," Bufavulous purred, waggling his brows. "You know, if you travel with me, I can teach ya all about how to inspect the atmosphere. You could learn about the Wind Pople from the Wind Lord himself!"

Baljeetolas's eyes lit up. "Really? Do you mean it!"

"O' course I do! Besides, you're way smarter than I am, and you're a good shot with that bow. I could use someone like you around." He reached out and scooped up a lock of the Nerdling's soft hair. Smiling lightly, he lifted it to his lips. "Plus you're quite easy on the eyes."

"I get it, you think I'm very attractive," Baljeetolas commented blandly, trying to look unimpressed despite the deep color in his cheeks and small smile on his lips. "I would absolutely LOVE to come with you and learn more about the Wind People! I am so honored!"

"Well then," The Wind Lord turned and motioned them onward. "My next stop is the Tri-Kingdom Area. There's a peddler there I need to trade this Dragonpuss egg with."

"Why would they need a Dragonpuss egg?" the Nerdling asked, trotting alongside the lord.

"Some bitch in the last town over decided it would be fun to curse me. My magic is currently drained," Bufavulous grumbled, "The peddler has the potion I need to replenish it, and he'll only take a Dragonpuss egg for it."

Baljeetolas grinned excitedly.

"I have the feeling that we are going to have some great adventures together."


End file.
